Christmas Dinner

 

Written and Produced by the Members of Team 2

Kim Bartley, Chad Bogdewic, Brad Ebel, Brian Hinderliter, Amy Vaccari

 

Characters:

Brian – Grandpa, dying of prostate cancer

Kim – Grandpa’s daughter, English teacher, very conservative

Amy – Kim’s daughter, hippie

Chad – Grandpa’s son and Kim’s brother, tatoo artist from San Fransisco

Brad – Grandpa’s son and Kim and Chad’s brother, surf shop manager

 

Scene 1 : Kitchen table, Christmas dinner

 

Chad sitting at table by himself.

Amy enters.

C – "Hello there."

A – "Hi Uncle Chad, How are you doing on this lovely Christmas morning?"

C – "I’m just fine and you"

A – "Could be better. Wish I was traveling"

C – "Oh yeah, how is that new house of yours?"

Kim enters quietly.

A – "You know that I live in my VW. But don’t dare tell mother."

C – "I don’t have to tell her. You just did."

K – "You live in your car? What do you do with all the money I send each month for rent?"

A – "I send that to the organization working for world peace."

C – (making a smoking motion)"Yeah right more like…"

A – "Why don’t you shut up! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about mom."

C – "Where’s Gramps at?"

B – "Dude, he’s drainin’ it."

K – "Draining what?"

A – "Ya know, the prostate problem. He’ll be gone soon. Then we won’t have to have these wonderful family dinners anymore."

K – "Could you be anymore disrespectful to your Grampa?"

C – "It’s no secret we don’t like each other. We’re only here to make Grampa happy in his dying days."

B – "You guys are ridiculous. Let’s try to make his last months as peaceful as possible."

A – "I’m trying but with all these weirdos here, it’s too hard. Look at the tatoo man. Why can’t he just go back to San Fransisco?"

K – "That’s enough. Respect your uncle. We all have a right to be here."

C – "I’d go back if he drove me."(pointing at Brad)

B – "Dude, you just better shut-up right now before I shove my favorite surfboard way up where the sun don’t shine."

C – "I never had that done before, hmmm."

 

Scuffle ensues – everyone fighting

 

Grampa enters.

 

G – "What the hell is goin’ on in here?"

C – "Nothing Grampa. How are you feeling today?"

G – "Well if you really want to know…"(Brian continues to list everything that is wrong with him for at least 30 seconds)

A – (to rest of group)"Why did you have to ask that? He’ll go on forever."

C – "I was just trying to make conversation. We’re not going to get to talk to him for much longer you know."

A – "Oh, that’s right. That means no more presents either."

K – "Shut up you ungrateful little brat."

A – "Pap, What did you get me for Christmas?"

Brian doesn’t hear. Still listing his problems.

A – "Pap, Pap, What did you buy me for christmas? I hope you got me love beads for the VW. Jeremiah would love that."

Brian thinks.

K – "Love beads? And who is this Jeremiah character?"

A – "Well mother, He lives in the VW with me."

 

Silence. Everyone is dumbfounded. Brad begins to sing "Jeremiah was a bullfrog"

 

B – "Sorry, it’s a favorite"

G – "Oh, a sing-a-long." Begins to sing.

K – (to Brad)"Now look what you’ve started! My life is a disaster!"

 

Everyone fights.

 

G – "Shut up. Shut up. All of you worry about all the wrong things. You with your surf shop. Why can’t you get a real job. And you. Putting tatoos all over your body like a girl. And you little missy, sitting in your chair like a princess, teaching those hoodlems stuff they’ll never use. English, they call that a subject. And your daughter. All she does is smoke the wacky tobaccy. You all have a lot of nerve coming her and fighting on Christmas day.

 

Grandpa grasps his chest and falls to the ground. "Damn you all"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scene 2: Hospital

 

C – "I can’t believe Grampa’s dead."

K – "I know. I just realized what he was trying to tell us. Life isn’t about tatoos or surfboards or love beads or about what you do or what you have. It’s about family and loving one another for who they are. We should appreciate the time we get to spend together and put our differences aside because life is too short."

 

Grampa walks out.

 

"False alarm. I knew I could get you kiddos to get along."

 

Everyone hugs.